Friends.

I am incredibly blessed to be around such amazing people here at CCU. I want to try something new in this blog by introducing you to some of them. I am going to interview some of my friends here, introduce them to you and tell you a bit about how they got to CCU, where they've been and where they're going. You guys are seriously going to love getting to know them just like I have. I love stories and hearing the stories about the people I love are even cooler. I can't wait to introduce these incredible people to you and show you how knowing them is shaping my life.

Afraid to Fail

         A totally irrational fear I have is that of failure. I guess you could look into my past and see where this fear comes from but I believe that we both have a fear of this to a degree. I came across this quote the other day from Donald Miller who said "Afraid of failure? Fail at something five times fast. In doing so,  we learn failure is nothing to fear". The fear of failure is no doubt something which I personally need to get over and although I'm working towards throwing myself into failure (which I know, it sounds insane), I always go into it reluctantly. I remember the day I met my driving instructor back home, i turned to her and I said "ok, you need to throw me into stuff and I'm probably going to argue to shy away from it but you need to make me do it". I can tell you that this is a major theme amongst so many of my conversations with God.

                             "God, I don't want to go into ministry...I have nothing to offer"
                  "God, I can't go to America by myself... I'm only 15"
    "God, I don't know if I have the strength to leave the only place I know and move 4000 miles away"
                  "God, I can't put myself out there...they'll think I'm totally weird"
                             "God, I don't want to shoot for my dreams, because I'm just too scared they'll fall on their face...if it fails...hope is over...if i just avoid it...there is still hope"

                 In sure that in reading this you realized how ridiculous I am. But maybe you read it and realized that so many of these things you think yourself and now, in turn, you are realizing how ridiculous you are. Failure is something which no one likes. But, I'm sorry...its inevitable. I have struck out on many things in my nineteen years. Believe me. But have I ever regretted these failures?

not at all. 

                 You see although I shy away from them. My regrets, mistakes and failures have made me the wiser for them and taught me some incredible lessons along the way. I have learned that God's "no" is not a rejection, but a redirection. That certain relationships haven't worked out because God loves me way too much for me to be with someone who doesn't bring out the best in me or for me to bring out the best in them. That timing for God is His specialty and that the times where I couldn't be somewhere else that He had plans for me right where I was. That the people who I lost along the way made way for people who are impacting my life as we speak. You see, with hindsight, I see that every failure was a blessing. If I had done well in my science exams when I was 16, I'd be doing medicine or nursing...I wouldn't be here. If I had got on camp teams last summer...I would never have been able to stand beside my best friend as she married the love of her life. If that one relationship had worked out...I would've missed out on so much. With this in mind, I am ready to do life, make decisions, and if I fall...I pick myself up because my strength isn't about how many times I fall but how many times I pick myself up. 

"Now faith is confidence in what we hope for and assurance about what we do not see" Hebrews 11:1 

"My flesh and heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever" Psalm 73:26 

The only regrets I have, are the times I was too scared to really chase for something, to try my hardest, and thats what I want to encourage you to do. If you fall, so what, I guarantee you pick yourself up being far more stronger than when you fell down. Its tough to be vulnerable, but sometimes it is when we are most vulnerable or weak that we give God the space to shine through. Reminding myself that if my dreams don't scare me...they are simply not big enough. 

A Kingdom Looking Church

So imagine you're sitting in your conservative, middle class church and suddenly an ex-convict walks in, all covered in tattoos and looking as intimidating as ever, you can already hear the elderly woman behind you fumble around for her purse and draw it closer, Mothers call over and embrace their children, Fathers stand back to the point where they feel like they look intimidating but one look and they'd be out the door. If you cannot imagine this and the hostility that would surround it then wow you are already in the kingdom mindset.
             I have to say, I would pay to see the reactions of my home church back in Northern Ireland as this character came in. In actual fact, this happened, it is happening. And more of it needs to happen. Sunday mornings are one of thee most segregated mornings in the world. For one morning on one day of the week for one hour, we lock ourselves in buildings, but all separate, by class, race, ethnicity and rarely do we go outside of them. But this is not the kingdom. What the kingdom will look like. You see the body of Christ is made up of all sorts of people and that is the very beauty of it, no one is excluded.

Our churches need to reflect that. 

            But so often we fall short. This church in New Zealand is specifically helping those who have just left prison. When I read this story, I was so amazingly encouraged, this is what we are about. This is what Christianity is about. And these are the stories where I say "wow! that is the Spirit of Jesus right there". But the thing is, that should not be my reaction, I should not be surprised at this nor should I find this any different than the faith I should see around me. You see this is not the ideal example, the winning example, this is what we should already be doing.
            How are we reflecting Jesus within our churches, do we really mean our "Everybody Welcome" which we put on our doors, or are we only welcoming to those who are just like us. I would say that if your church is selective about its congregation, then its not a church at all. Jesus wasn't selective about who He spoke to. He was ridiculed for who He spoke to. People looked down upon Him for eating with sinners, talking to prostitutes, being with those of lower social standing. But this never stopped Him.
            The Christian invite belongs to everyone, no matter what their past, their background, family, nothing matters, for we are equal when we stand before the cross. This article is one every church needs to read. Not as a "wow, look at them doing cool work" but as a "how are we accommodating various peoples?", if your church isn't diverse...it isn't accommodating...and that is the sorry truth. I hope this article both inspires but also helps you to see what we need more of in our churches and what the kingdom looks like.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/magazine-19153425

Ulster Rugby, The Ulster Men Standing Up

Irish Rugby lost a major asset to their sport in the form of Nevin Spence who sadly passed away along with his Brother and Father in an extremely unfortunate farming accident. The reason so many of the family died is because...they all tried to save each other. This story is one of deep tragedy, of such sorrow in both the Rugby and Northern Irish community.
                      I came across this article today in the BBC and it explains how faith has been used to comfort the ulster rugby team in trying to come to terms with the loss of their player Nevin. It appears that the captain and many of the Ulster players hold faith at high regard in their lives. At the Spence funeral, the brothers and father were described as "best friends" , and so many good words were spoken of them all. The faith of the family since this heart-breaking tragedy is most definitely something to be admired. Reading articles about the Spence family and seeing even in such a thing as the BBC about how much faith they had is incredible, and i know it must have been an honor for those who experienced the family in real life.
                     This story of love and faith makes me extremely proud to call myself Northern Irish, and makes me extremely proud of the people who live there. My thoughts and prayers are with the Spence family who have encountered such an extreme loss, but their steadfast faith through this is nothing short of completely admirable and inspirational. Stand Up For The Ulster Men. The Ulster Men who stood for their faith.

to see the article follow this link:  http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-northern-ireland-19717485

Where does your joy come from?

This week I was challenged when one of my friends spoke at a student run chapel at my school. We were simply asked about joy, where our joy came from, or if we had any joy at all.
              We all seek acceptance, love and praise from those around us. Its inevitable and believe me I am the worst offender. I value the appraise of those around me rather than God's because, well, I have to live with the opinions of those around me. But we so often lose sight of who we are and who God intended us to be when we start beginning to focus more on the opinions around us. Again, I have been the worst offender. I could tell you the stories of how I would have changed so much about myself in order to suit the people around me. I changed my taste in fashion, in music, in how I act. Now I have come to the age where I want to be confident in who I am, what I like and where I want to go.
               To stay in God's will has something which has been hard for me. I am so independent to the point where it frustrates those closer to me. To depend and trust in someone I cannot see tests me beyond belief. I don't trust enough in the only thing I should be trusting in.
               I really want to challenge you...to challenge yourself. In reading your Bible, in your prayer life, pray big, pray specific, love on those around you, begin to start an epic journey of discovery of God and who you are in Him. So many people, really all people, need a good character analysis every now and again. The condition of the world is a direct reflection of the condition of the human heart and we all know that neither of these things are where they should be.
              This question: Where does your joy come from?
                         Think about it.
                                     Explore it.
                                                I know where mine should come from and I want to challenge you to explore it for myself. I know that my control of my life and the joy I think I am experiencing don't even come close to the joy I can find in Jesus Christ, if I just trust Him enough to handle it.

"I choose joy...I will refuse to see any problem as anything less than an opportunity to see God" - Max Lucado

Sneak Day 2012

So you guys are probably wondering what Sneak day is or if you follow me on twitter you are probably wondering what the heck I was tweeting about all day. Well once a year in the CCU calendar we have what we call Sneak Day. This event is predominately planned by Nu Delta Sigma who are the  Youth Ministry organization within our school for those interested in pursuing it. This year however, Nu Delta Sigma teamed up with Student Body Leadership, which I am blessed to be on this semester. Together we planned a day were all classes would be cancelled, events would be organized and the school (including professors) wouldn't know until the actual day itself. This day is CCU tradition so teachers know it will happen, just not when. 

8 am, Wednesday 12th September consisted of my friend Kasey and I running through the hallways of the girls dorm yelling "EVERYONE GET UP IT'S SNEAK DAY!"and myself playing, well screeching, my tin whistle. Most girls woke up startled by the occasion and others rather unimpressed by being awoken in such a way. Each floor was given a certain color, there were six teams in total so a girls floor and a guys floor would pair up with the same color. We were immediately all in competition with each other. We hurried everyone into the chapel for 8:30 where they could have breakfast before we started with worship. The worship was incredible, a great way to start the day. 

After worship we headed for activities which consisted of tug of war and dodgeball. These sports really promoted team spirit. People got so involved and it just really brought so many people together. After a picnic on the quad we all headed out for a service project into the city. We picked up trash all over area surrounding CCU, just showing that as Christians we are here to serve the people around us in whatever capacity that is. Sitting all together on the quad for dinner having ribs and listening to Jazz was such a cool way to just all join together (after we were all showered from sweating like crazy on the service project) and have some banter with each other. 

At 6:30pm we departed for Mount St Joe where we went to support our eagles soccer team! We all wanted to go to show our support to our boys and just get them psyched! Sadly we lost but they played the most incredible game and didn't go down without a fight! We did certainly show Mount St Joe how dedicated fans truly have to be! 

After a super long day we all returned to school to attend family. Here we had some worship music and then we all went outside for another CCU tradition called "lighting the hill". All the students stood in a huge circle outside our chapel, each with a candle, and we all lit each others. This was such a moving experience, we all stood, each with a candle. Mine went out a couple times but someone immediately beside me would always light mine up again. It just reminded me how blessed I am to have these people alongside me at this school. we all can keep each other on the right track and even if our lights are dim or they go out, you can be sure that someone will come along and relight it again. When we each had a candle, it was just so beautiful, to just see all the light that came from it. It was breathtaking. Just looking around it reminded me of how I am not alone. Not alone in chasing after Christ. One of the things which always astounds me about Christianity is that I can be 4000 miles from home and still be amongst family. The people of CCU I count as family, however dysfunctional we are, we are one here, all looking out for each other. 

This photo my friend Lareesa took. Seeing all the lights in the background and the single light here is just such an incredible picture. CCU is just such an incredible place, and I love and care for these people so much. This place is seriously impacting so many people here, that will go on and impact other people. This is the power of the family of Christ. 

Redefining the Sabbath

So something which has been really on my mind recently is how we view the Sabbath. I don't know about you but I was always brought up with the idea that in order to keep the Sabbath we would have to all sit around on a Sunday and do nothing, because we couldn't do any form of work or anything which would strain ourselves.
            The Sabbath as a concept totally makes sense, that we should take one day to just get our focus back on God and spend time with Him. That is the essence of the Sabbath. Again, experience or people may tell you that in order to do this, you have to read your Bible all day or fast, and these are great ideas but we can be so creative in how we connect with God. A way in which I really connect with God is through writing, so blogging is the ultimate form of connection or worship to God. You may be the same, or maybe you might prefer to write music or play your instrument all day, maybe you would love to throw yourself into an art piece, maybe you just would love to go on a long walk and just pray and talk to God whilst viewing his incredible creation, there are so many ways we can connect with God that the possibilities are limitless. BE CREATIVE. God loves creativity, after all He is the ultimate creator of it.
             I want to challenge you to honor the Sabbath. To take one day where you spend a significant amount of time just seeking God. An important thing I have learned recently is that God loves us just as much in the state of "being" than in the state of "doing". John Sawyer once used the analogy that everyday god sits in a big chair with a cup of tea, waiting for you to pop in the chair opposite and just really come to Him, tell Him all about your life. It hurts whenever you just jump in the chair for two minutes and then are away again. Spend time to come to your Savior and find refuge in Him. You are a servant of God, yes, and we should serve. But you are also a child of God, take the time to sit down with your Father and connect with Him, listening for his voice, do this in whatever manner proves most effective. I can guarantee you'll feel revitalized and God will reveal more to you than you could ever have guessed.

My Sawyer Retreat.

I was going to call this post my Sawyer Sabbatical because I am a big fan of alliteration but I settled on retreat because I feel that "retreat" is better at showing what I want to talk about. Last Friday I set off for Lexington for Labor day weekend, it was also my best friend Corinne's birthday and my friend Mark and I really wanted to spend it with her since all us Northern Irish are this side of the pond now. I was exhausted; physically, emotionally and spiritually. I was carrying the world on my shoulders and was drained beyond belief. Even to the point that Mark turned round to me on the drive down and said "Vikki...You look terrible", obviously in his compassionate and diplomatic self :) I had stayed at the Sawyers before and somehow before I went down there each time, I was exhausted, drained.
                     I got into the house of John and Brenda Sawyer late that night and immediately felt at home. The Sawyers house is one of the most welcoming homes I have been in and to walk into a place 4000 miles from your actual house and feel so at home is something which rarely happens. But the reasoning behind why I felt so at home was not simply because of how the house is decorated. I can honestly tell you that I look up to this couple so much. They constantly pour themselves into the community around them, the church and wider community also. I have worked alongside John and Brenda in Northern Ireland where they have been leading mission trips for many years. The impact they have 4000 miles away is nothing short of inspiring.
                     We have come to know John and Brenda as "Mama and Papa Sawyer", these people have children all over the world because of the love they show to people.Being around this couple just regenerates me beyond belief. Staying with them and their daughter Rachel just gave me insight into a godly family unit. Not only are they so engaged in the ministry around them, they show the power of having a ministry within your home and the effects it can bring about. I can honestly tell you that after my weekend with the Sawyers I came back to school totally revitalized and just overwhelmed by the fact that people I was connected to through Christ had such a genuine care and concern for me. This is something which just overwhelms me so much sometimes, that we have all these connections to people all over the world, and in this we can have a deep bond and love which is all rooted in Christ. John and Brenda are such examples to me in so many ways, they represent a Godly relationship, ultimate servants, loyal Christians among many other things which I hope to be someday. They inspire me to be the person I want to be, to strive for the best all in the name of Christ.
                      John and Brenda teach me that ministry is everywhere. Ministry happens when you take people into your home or when you take them out to eat. Ministry is not just in words but in cooking someone a meal or just sitting down over a cup of tea. Jesus isn't just saved for the pulpit, He's in everything and you can present Him in so many different ways, just make sure you present the same Jesus each time.

My Beautiful best friend Corinne who turned 20, without her I can honestly tell you I would be a crazy person. Blessed to call her my best friend and sister in Christ <3

The wonderful John and Brenda Sawyer, inspirations to many and great examples to follow :)

Its Been a While

Typically, this happens often, where I forget neglect this blog for ages then return with an apology. I'm guessing you must think that this is just something with occurs often and I always return with an apology and a remark about how it will never happen again. Again, I tell that to you. But this time I come with reasoning and I will update you wit what all has been happening in my life since I have returned. Why I feel so confident that I will not let you down again is because I now...wait for it...have a computer!
            Basically my last computer had hated me for some time. It never was quite the same after traveling it across the pond for my freshman year (we all know where its allegiance lied). Well I tried to make it up to my old Dell but it wasn't having any of that and finally passed on just before I went back home for summer.
            Well there is now a new addition to the Vikki Smyth family wolfpack family of one, and it is a 13" MacBook Air. it was a long struggle to get him here but after a lot of work and pain he was brought into my life yesterday in the Lexington mall and was brought home with me that day. We have already bonded unbelievably and I can tell we will have a very happy life together. I guess some would say we are in the lovey dovey honeymoon phase of our relationship and I would wholeheartedly agree with that since I would 100% agree with the statement that we are "made for one another"....

...anyway this story means, I will be blogging more, I hope I haven't lost you ...

                             Vikki x